Get an entire grip on yourself: sadness & the art of keeping yourself in “check”

  1. I said “goodbye” to my “home school” of seven years, and all the students therein. (Reminded myself “goodbyes” and change are normal and healthy.)
  2. I got infusions: Lupron, Excheva. (Reminded myself that they might make me feel like shit, but they might also save my life.)
  3. I am in the middle of an Ibrance cycle. (Same as above: feel like shit, but possibly life saving.)
  4. I was suddenly, unexpectedly, disillusioned by “the program” I’ve been overzealously involved in for 70-some odd days. (Take a lesson: humans will disappoint, they always somehow do; grab what you learned and run.)
  5. I have felt tired from being a cancer patient who traveled a lot, and didn’t sleep or eat enough. (Duh.)
Perhaps the wisest song ever sung and the worst video ever made. Some songs just don’t need videos.
Spotify is highly judgmental. Look at this morning’s playlist. Also, who ever said I like Cinderella?
I still see Hillary’s “Benghazi Face” in my mind’s eye on a regular basis. Her face is the face of every intelligent woman on the planet who is so tired of this bullshit.
This was taken in my apartment in Chicago. Circa 2008. Simpler times, or as my sister and I would say, “Schimpler times.”
RIP Paul Mooney. One of the funniest fuckers I’ve ever seen on television. And yes, I agree with him.

--

--

--

Educator, essayist, feminist, human.

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium

Two Suicides in One Week?

I accept myself and everything I am feeling.

We Can Be Our Own Biggest Enemy.

Schizophrenia Is Not a Dirty Word

I suck at my job.

Is someone you love thinking of killing themself?

You Can’t Control Happy

Background shows rainbow colors as if they’re refracted through a prism. White text in various curved and slanted lines reads “Happiness is acceptance and a quiet embrace of ourselves.”

The Only Person Awake in the World

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Allison Gruber

Allison Gruber

Educator, essayist, feminist, human.

More from Medium

Cold: When Winter Beckons

From Worthless to Worthy

Day 9: A Valentine’s Special Pt. 2

How This Plant Can Save Your Health, If Not Your Life. The Truth About Moringa.